I’ll Never Be Young Again

 


Author: Daphne Du Maurier

Genre: fiction

Number of pages: 304

First published: 1932

Setting: London, Sweden, Paris

Rating: 4 stars

First sentence: When the sun had gone, I saw that the water was streaked with great patches of crimson and gold.

One sentence comment: With an evocative prose, the book told a growing-up story.

The protagonist, Dick, was initially whiny and unappealing, and the first part of the story, focusing on his friendship with Jake, felt unengaging. However, the narrative sharpens in the second half with the introduction of Hesta, a music student in Paris. Their love story became genuinely fascinating, radiating the intense emotion of falling in love and leaving me intrigued to discover their fate.

 

The greatest irony was that Dick's initial Bohemian outlook on relationships ultimately became the weapon that destroyed him. As Dick grew emotionally invested and devoted himself to writing, he stopped craving adventure and began longing for a settled home. However, Hesta, whom Dick had perhaps spoiled with his own earlier attitude, only desired to enjoy the moment—no marriage, no babies. Consequently, she felt no remorse in taking a new lover. Writing this book in her early twenties, Du Maurier already demonstrated a mature understanding that a purely hedonistic, 'enjoy the moment' attitude often leads to personal ruin and is detrimental only to the person who holds it.

 

The novel skillfully portrayed a male chauvinist viewpoint through Dick, who, while growing "crazy" and jealous about intimacy, found it "beastly" when Hesta expressed the same desire. Crucially, Dick quickly recognized this absurdity in himself, a moment of self-awareness that shows he is a complex and evolving person. I admire the book for its willingness to debate and critique these specific philosophies of youth and love. However, the suddenness of Jake's drowning remains jarring and abrupt. Perhaps this tragic event was intended to imply that Dick needed to be violently severed from that older, stabilizing, fatherly figure in order to truly find his own identity.

 

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